I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize