who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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