There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We smell like vodka and hangover
The ass gains better be worth it
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