So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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