just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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