I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize