remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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