My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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