please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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