Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize