Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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