PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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