I bet he comes in French.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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