I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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