We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize