hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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