She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize