is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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