Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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