ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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