wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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