This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize