is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize