So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
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Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
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He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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