i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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