My boss' voice literally gives me gas
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
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How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
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I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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