Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
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he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
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I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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