The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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