I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
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besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
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I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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