Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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