That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
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