My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize