There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
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Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
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In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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