we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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