I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
it's like iHOP with fire
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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