The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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