All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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