God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize