I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize