got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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