Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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