which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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