Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
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His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
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They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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