sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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