I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
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don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
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Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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