Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My feet surprised me
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize