I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
and she was petting her beer can
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize