obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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