Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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