Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
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